Emotional abuse and it's effect on us when performing magic

As hard of a subject abuse is it needs to be talked about not just in a magical sense but on a personal level. See magic can't work when we (you and I) are unbalanced but emotional scares caused by those around us growing up as children so here is a list of aspects of how emotionally abused people from childhood act

1. We can’t stand conflict. Our fight or flight instinct is immediately triggered by sudden loud noises, screaming, or basically any apparent aggression. As children we were unable to cope with what was going on from everything from their parents not explaining what was happening nor did we have friends who helped us get through and teach us that it wasn't us that was wrong but the adults who should know better than to project what was wrong with us and what we couldn't deal with on to the child.
2. We can’t accept compliments because as children people only talked about our mistakes, and flaws and not what we did right or praise them for doing something amazing. 
3. We overachieve in an attempt to prove ourselves. This is a normal reaction from being talked about our mistakes so we feel that we need to be better. and it gives us a negative view about ourselves and about people around us.
4. We believe everything they do is wrong, no matter what others say. We honestly feel that we are a failure and this thought creates thoughts of suicide or actions that harm others because they honestly feel that what they do is wrong. 
5. We apologize all the time due to constantly feeling like we're are to blame for something.
6. We isolate ourselves and use our home as a safe place.
7. We don’t trust anyone, and will rarely let others in.
8. We are indecisive because we feel like whatever we choose will be wrong. This makes us fear being a parent or an adult.
9. We are hardly our true selves because we will never say anything that another person may not agree with. No matter what, so we don't speak or agree with what everyone else says.
10. We are so defensive that they come off as cold or negative. It's a protective barrier we put up to protect us from being hurt.
11. We don’t accept love for what it is, and believe it is never unconditional.
12. We will try too hard to please anyone who is an authority figure.
13. We feel the need to explain in detail everything that they do, and have trouble saying no to anyone.
14. We do not ask for help, because we believe something will be wanted in return. Due to this they have trouble finding a best friend. However there is truth to this because in life people do expect something in return for help.
15. We are paranoid, and have trust and attachment issues. This leads to a lot of problems with relationships.
16. We are too shy, and never have a voice.
17. We hide the ‘bad’ side of ourselves from everyone including ourselves.
18. We will never think they are good enough or smart enough. No matter what we accomplish it will not block out the negative words in their head.
19. We have trouble accepting that there are people who genuinely love and care for us.
20. We can’t make eye contact because it scares us. We fear being yelled at and feel that we are less then the person we're talking to.
21. We have trouble communicating our feelings, which can raise our anxiety and lead to depression and suicide. 
22. We will never fight back, and can only cut people out of their lives by getting help.
23. We will blame ourselves for absolutely everything that happens.
24. We have trouble finding out who we really are, and what our true beliefs are.
25. We have a huge amount of anger, and it causes us to lash out through social media where we can hide behind a screen.